‘TWAS THE HOLIDAY SEASON: HERE WE GO AGAIN.

‘Twas the holiday season upon us once more,

Not a single employee was at HR’s door.

The silence was heavy; I was starting to freak.

I hadn’t a complaint in more than a week.
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No lawsuits or grievances were pending at all.

Instead of unease, I should be having a ball.

Our lawyer thinks I’m dead – I haven’t made a call.

Yet, all I know to do is wait for the other shoe to fall

 

Employees were trained as required by law.

Not to grope, fondle, or otherwise paw.

The handbook was updated, acknowledgments signed.

That NLRB Guidance almost blew my mind.

 

I took out the language that was certain to chill,

Because wages and hours can be discussed at will.

Our handbook was given a complete overhaul.

Revising conduct rules was the hardest of all.

 

And speaking of conduct, where has everyone gone?

Are they suddenly (eerily) getting along?

I take a deep breath and head to the break room.

The postings are current, not a single cartoon.

 

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear

But all my employees and staff I hold dear.

“We all want to thank you for all that you’ve done.”

“Let’s start the holidays by having some fun!”

 

“No beer! No liquor! And no copying our bums!”

“No mistletoe smooching!  We’re just having fun!”

My heart swelled with pride, as tears blurred my sight.

Merry Christmas to all.  Let’s do this party right!

Vanessa Towarnicky's primary focus is in the area of labor and employment law. She has been involved in representing clients in various employment cases, including sexual harassment; deliberate intent; age, race, and disability discrimination; wrongful discharge; and various other employment-related torts. She is admitted to various state and federal courts as well as the Third Circuit Court of Appeals and Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals.
 
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